Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Praise You in this Storm....

As I sat in the exam room Monday morning, holding my precious 6 year old, talking to Richard (Dr. Young), I cried tears of guilt again. Richard having walked this journey with me for so long knows that I don't handle Ryan being sick with a passive attitude, I react.

I remember being told when Ryan was an infant that birth defects run in sets of 3. We know 2 of Ryan's and are sort of just waiting for a diagnose of the 3rd.... Well, after 4 days of vomiting and 4 months of vomiting 2 or 3 times a week at school- I felt like something wasn't right. I felt as if we were on the verge of discovering the third. Richard has never handled the tears all that well. But as he does every time I am there, he promised me (sarcastically) that I had the best pediatrician in town and that Ryan only had a bug and possibly acid reflux. As we left, Richard, Ryan, and I aggravated each other and Richard told me "God did not bring you to this point to desert you now." (From a man who seldom says anything to me at all, these were words of wisdom.)

Wow... what truth there is in that statement. At what point, will the tears stop flowing and why does it hurt so much when Ryan is sick. I don't know... but I will look back on this week in my life and there will be one set of Footprints... because my God has been carrying me. For healing, I have been spending quite time listening to Praise You in this Storm. In Ryan's life, I have had to learn to Praise Him even when it was difficult.

I realize until Ryan's birth defect has been 100% repaired there will be days that are tough on me but I am committed to "praising Him in this storm"

Enjoy the words.....

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.


And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth