Thursday, April 16, 2009

The Morning After...

Last night, at my normal bedtime, Brian was urging me to go to bed. I didn't want to sleep. I am a vivid dreamed and I knew in my dreams my attacker would be there waiting for me. Waiting to make the nightmare go further than it had earlier in the day. I finally relented, and went to bed.

I went to sleep faster than I thought I would have, and woke a few hours later in a sweat. I had relived it in my dreams. I tossed and turned for a few hours, and knowing I needed to sleep , lulled myself back there. Earlier in my dreams, I had just relived exactly what had happened.
Now in my dreams, they were nightmares. I didn't have anything else happen to me. I was only confronted in an odd way by my attacker holding what he had taken from me yesterday. Taunting me that he had a piece of me with him and that he would never give it back.

You may wonder, why I blog about this... I need to talk about it. I need to say my fears out loud. The more I talk, the faster (I hope) that I will recover.