Monday, November 2, 2009

Can I just scream a little?

This past weekend, Ryan and I went to sleep about the same time because I have been extremely tired lately. It is also a nice time to cuddle with my little man. Friday and Saturday night, Ryan wanted a to sleep in the floor in our room so, of course, we let him. Well, Sunday night, being a school night, he had to sleep in his own bed to ensure a great night sleep. (The best laid plans of mice and men...) Snuggled up and warm and cozy, I still went to bed early on Sunday night. I was sleeping like a baby (a good baby not the baby that wakes every hour and a half) until I was awakened by Ryan screaming immediately followed by DuPont barking. I ran to Ryan's side and as fast as the terror came, he was fast asleep.

As I reflect on the night terror, I begin laughing at my thoughts. Can I scream just a little? I am not sure why but the past few weeks, I have been really frustrated. I think screaming just a little would help tremendously. I feel like there is so much piling up around me and that there are not "fast" answers for any of it. Can't I just scream? Like Freud says in one of his theories, maybe I am having an identity crisis. Likely not.

But I am having a crisis and "At the Cross" is my current scream. I do not have the answers to "fix" my problems. But I rejoice that just as I comfort Ryan during his terrors, God is comforting me during my terror.

Isn't the love of God and his grace amazing? Thank goodness I know that the hope that is in Jesus Christ.