Friday, April 15, 2011

20,423

Papa.

He has been gone for 20,423 minutes. I look at this picture featured on Owen Funeral Home's site from mine and Brian's wedding and I think that it cannot be possible. What you can't see in this picture is that I am standing there with him. I ABSOLUTELY love this picture. It is in a frame on my desk even. But in the larger pciture on my desk you can't quite see how happy he was but when we cropped his face, his joy for me was fully captured.

I hope he is running the streets of gold. I hope that the friends he lost in Okinawa, from his family, and those friends he lost earlier in life were there waiting to give him a tour. I think about how breath taking the view was when he first arrived. I imagined God said, "Well done my good and faithful servant."

I envision those lives he influenced unknowingly have come to him and said "thank you for giving to the Lord." These are lives changed because he cared enough to serve.

I miss him most early in the morning most of all. I miss you when I walk into your room. I miss you when I clean my glasses (He used to clean his glasses with COFFEE!). And I miss hearing you say "be sweet".

I'm not sure if he ever gets watch to us but I imagine that God lets him see us every now and again but I want him to know this- I'm not crying for him. I rejoice for he is in Heaven with our Father. I cry because I miss him. I cry because although he was sick for YEARS, I always thougth he'd be here.

I'll be there soon. I've got a lot of living left to do here but I'm coming. And when I get there, I expect a "hey, sweetie pie, welcome home." I want to worship our Father with him. I want to sing praises. And I want to go fishing.

I miss my Papa but in time it will get easier. And in time there will be days that will be some of the darkest and I am okay with that. The day I hold Harper for the first time and he isn't there to celebrate with me, I will miss him. I wouldn't trade my hurt for anything in the world because I love my grandfather with all I have.

Talk to you soon Papa. Love you.