Monday, August 29, 2011

Changing Seasons...

I don't mean from summer to fall although August is rapidly coming to a close so fall is just around the corner. College football will begin on Saturday and before we know it Thanksgiving will be here then Christmas. Oh how time flies.

But the season I refer to is the season of being a family of "3". On the weekends when Ryan goes to his father's, Brian and I are able to enjoy some time for 2. I have cherished this time alone, though, because never being married before it was always a time I cherished for Brian to have just me. Being the awesome father he is, Sunday afternoon rolls around and he is ready for his boy to come home.

Yesterday was no exception. When Ryan first got here I could tell something was wrong. Normally, Ryan wants to be in the thick of things with us but he was in his room playing Legos. I asked Brian to make a casual appearance in his room and about 30 mins later both boys came out just cracking up at each other. Have I said, despite my husband having one of the worst examples of an earthly father anyone can have, he is the BEST father? His tenderness reminds me of someone (Papa) else who was a great father.

Last night, we talked about how things were changing around here. We talked about the fact that Harper would arrive soon. I told Ryan of plans I had for he and I and he and Brian. We worry about how  9 and a half years as an only child will affect him but I think the fact that we are very aware will help us prevent any major issues with him. He even said, "I'm ready to come home from my Dad's to see Harper in your lap." Precious Ryan. Love him.

Ryan spent a lot of time cuddled up next to me and many times I had to close my eyes to keep the tears from streaming. It was a God wink moment. When Ryan went to take his bath, he called for me to come into the bathroom. I found him with 1 foam letter and 1 squirt toy (both Harper's). I ended up dumping all of her bath toys into his water and for about 45 mins, Ryan just played. He later said, I wasn't sure if you'd be mad or not or if it was okay for me to play with her toys. OF COURSE, he can play with her toys.

When we went to bed last night, Ryan was laying down with me in our bed. I leaned over and I said, "I'll miss being a family of three." He said, "me too". Don't get me wrong, I CANNOT wait to hold, love, and mother my precious daughter. But many of my life's toughest moments were made easier by the love of this child. He has never had to share my attention. And I am literally moments from turning his world upside down.

As the changing seasons happen, I am reminded that God has a plan for me and for Ryan. Sometimes it is hard to trust the hand you cannot see but the reward for trusting His hand and discovering His plan is leading me into a place of sweetness that only He could have envisioned for me.

So, we are ready for the next season- being a family of 4.