Tuesday, March 27, 2012

3/27/11

(I'm going to throw out this "warning"... this week is the one year anniversary of the death of my grandfather. Most posts this week will be about that. Some of you may not want to read.)

A year ago, 3/27/11, it was a Sunday. Just any other Sunday. I'm sure we went to church. And in our usual fashion ate lunch with my grandparents. (Nana always cooks on Sunday.) Then, I visited with my Papa and talked about everything. Life was sweet.

I was pregnant and had recently been in the hospital for a gastric virus and my asthma was out of control. We were preparing for a little "boy" but already had suspicions that our "boy" was actually our GIRL.

We were facing the news that the cancer my Papa was suffering from was worse but I thought we would have a least one more of everything. I had prayed HARD that my Papa would live to meet our baby. I wanted more. But God had already given me my "one more", I just didn't know it yet.

oh man, I want to go back to 3/27/11. One more "normal" day.

Nothing would prepare me for what would await me that week. Even if I had known for years that death was coming. I didn't want to see it staring me in the face. It's been a year (almost). And I still feel like it's just a dream that I am going to wake up. People who say "time will heal all wounds" haven't known great loss. Time doesn't heal or at least not a year. I mean, I still find myself speeding down Tennessee Street, running up the ramp to their porch, and walking through the door with so much to say only to be reminded- he is not here.

While my life has changed so much. 3/27/11 was a good day. A really really good day. As I remember that day and I glance over my blog posts then, I am reminded that the hand of God is holding me close now and then. He knows my heart and is here to comfort me.

I also find it comforting that rain is coming this weekend. Of course it is. :-)