Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Delays

I was going through my blog putting labels on each posts. I want to grow my blog! (So, if you like what you read then spread the world, please!) I want to have something to say that others want to hear! As I was doing a little bit of work on the blog and I stumbled upon a post I wrote a while ago.

I wrote on April 12 "My Life as an ordinary Mom". It was one of my first posts about Cupcake's possible need for therapy. I remember those days thinking Cupcake "might" need therapy. No more "might". It is now a need.

It makes me ache to know that here we are SIX MONTHS later, and I am still worried about her sitting herself up. In this post, she had sat for the first time unsupported. She was 7 months old. She is now 12 months 24 days and has only sat herself up one time. OH man, how I yearn to see her do stuff!

When I was pregnant with Cupcake, I would dream about her all the time and I would allow myself to day dream. I pictured this little bundle of black curly hair with big blue eyes full of mischief and wonder. I pictured her crawling, talking, walking, running, bouncing around.

I have a lot of my vision (except she has curly RED hair) with her already but there is a part of me that grieves what I don't have. I love every inch of her and I know she is created perfectly for me! I pray often over her body and one day my girl will get her chance to run. There are many children who won't know that joy. My heart aches for those Mommas in a way I never knew before. When you have an expectation of what life with your child will be like and then something else is your reality you miss what could've been. And if you've never yearned for something in your child then you have no idea what I mean when I say this.

 If I am still here 6 months from now, oh my WORD.... Likely though I will be. I am choosing to be different about this. I am determined to see my journey with Cupcake as an opportunity to do something for His kingdom and not to loathe in self pity. I am choosing to work with her joyfully and rest in Him when I am tired and can't go on and when I'm am happy.

I pray change comes faster. Much faster. In 6 months, I'd love Harper to be able to climb a slide. That's my goal. I'll let you know if we get there!