Thursday, November 1, 2012

The "ex"

So I'm divorced. SO? So that means that at least one time a month I have to deal with the "ex" driving me completely BONKERS. I see the "ex" and the "new wife" about 2- 3 times a week. We all (B included) have a better than decent relationship. I'd actually classify them as "friends". Trust me- it's weird and it works. I wouldn't trade it. They have even watched Cupcake for us! (Isn't that just abnormal? The "ex" watching our child.)There are times too that I'd like to push them off a bridge but most of the time, I don't feel like that.

One of these times of desiring to push the "ex" off a bridge happened the other day. I email him all of the dates for school events, doctor appointments (with the cleft there are A LOT of them), and holiday events well in advance. You know b/c the "ex" needs to know if Lil Dude is singing at an event or has a game. Well, I emailed him with a bunch of information. I also offered in said email to give him one of my nights last week since the "ex" was losing his weekly time for the field trip to the Space "Station" aka space center.

Well, low and behold he never responded to my generous and not mandated offer. I knew immediately what happened- he saw how long the email was and elected not to read it. Anyway, the "ex" calls and asks for an "extra" night with Ryan. Of course, I took this as the perfect opportunity to call "busted" on his lack of concern for what I had to say. He apologized. I laughed at him. I, obviously, agreed to extra time for he was our son. But I pointed out that he wouldn't have had to call and start to beg for an extra night "IF" he had read ALL of the email. I felt a little better for having called him out but I didn't harass him too much. He is after all the father of my son.

I'd encourage all divorcees to put their own anger aside for the child(ren). Yes, I wanted to say "no" to the request by my "ex" for more time but that HURTS Lil Dude. I would NEVER hurt him. So I let him go. So? My son will only remember how I fostered the relationship with his dad.

Yes, we are divorced. Thankfully at that. But I do not ever want my son to suffer because our relationship doesn't work. I want Lil Dude to know he is loved by many many people. Sue me for every now and again enjoying a jab but who doesn't. At least it wasn't a high five to the face with a chair!
If you are divorced, I encourage you that even when the "ex" is grating your last nerve (and it will happen) to always do what is best for your child(ren). It won't always be easy but it will be what's best. And in the end you won't spend your life fighting with a man or woman who isn't even worth the effort.