Thursday, March 21, 2013

18 Month Well Check & Further Testing

We had Harper's 18 month well check on Tuesday, March 19. I really assumed this visit would be no different than any others. I would have a brief chat with Dr. Young, Harper would be immunized, and we'd be on our way. Pretty much that is what happened except my chat with Dr. Young was not brief.

I think it is safe to say that Dr. Young was caught off guard by the fact that Harper was still not standing independently or walking. He asked many questions about my pregnancy, he examined every single inch of Harper's body pushing and pulling on her muscles making her so mad, then he read her entire chart all over again paying close attention to the newborn screenings. He was looking for some sort of abnormality in the blood work or something he might have missed but there was nothing.

He asked if my pregnancy was hard with Harper. If you know anything about my pregnancy, this question is LAUGHABLE. My pregnancy was HARD on me and now we are understanding just how hard it was on Harper. Dr. Young mentioned conditions such as cerebral palsy that could be wrong with Harper but not likely because she does not have typical symptoms of moderate or severe CP. He also mentioned that Harper likely has places on her brain caused by trauma she endured while I was pregnant. These places will never get better or worse and cannot be removed. He told me what they are called and I don't remember.

Next week, Harper will have a CT scan for diagnostic purposes. I'm scared but it's something we need to do. We can't properly fight for Harper if we don't know all that we are fighting. I've read A LOT on Harper's condition. Searching through various articles that focus on her symptoms. I have a hunch what could be Harper's diagnosis but it won't change what we are already doing. Harper will receive physical therapy until she walks with a normal gait, jumps, and runs. She will continue to be in PT even if the CT scan shows nothing. Because Harper still has hypotonia (low muscle tone). This week, Dr. Young changed her current diagnosis of hypotonia of the right side to hypotonia of the lower extremities.

I told Dr. Young that so many people tell us that Harper looks normal and that she doesn't have low muscle tone. He said, "Well, I'm a pediatrician and she does have it." Dr. Young also said that when I get to the other side of this trial that it will be the longest thing I've ever endured. For a doctor who people claim has no bedside manner, I'd like to disagree. With both of my children, he has extended compassion above and beyond what I expect.

I hope our story will help others. It's so easy to chock delayed developers all in to the same category and to make statements like "She's fine. She'll walk." Yes, Harper will walk. But she's not like her peers. She's been created perfectly in the image of Christ yet with a problem. We now need to learn how to help her best.

My best friend tells me that God trusts me a lot of because he chose me to be the mother of two of his greatest creations who both happen to have special care needs. I think God sees something in me that I don't see in myself. One day, I'll understand "why me". Until then, I'm going to keep my eyes and my heart focused above. With God's help and modern medicine my girl will dance!

Please keep our girl in your prayers. She has to be sedated for her CT scan procedure. That will be the hardest part. Also pray for guidance. Pray that we will continue to get Harper the absolute best treatment. Also pray for our family. It's easy to be worried. It's very easy for Satan to take me to a place of failure, misery, and sadness. We know Harper is intellectually completely present we just need to figure out her gross motor delays. No matter what happens, I am Momma to two incredible children. I am blessed beyond what I deserve. IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL.