Tuesday, January 14, 2014

God Won't Give You More than You Can Handle?!?!

People who say, "God won't give you more than you can handle!" have never hit rock bottom. I have some friends going through Hell on Earth right now and I guarantee you that they feel like God has given them more than they can handle. I, myself, felt like for a year and a half that God had rocked my world to a point of "I can't handle this at all." 

Follow my train of thought, please, "IF" God never gave us more than we could handle then would we even need him to be our Savior. Would we need a close walk with God? The simple answer is NO. If we could handle this world without him then we would not need to walk in close communion with Him. 

Jesus declared: 

If we could handle all of the stuff life vomits on us then we'd never be tired. We never need "rest".

I have been slap dab in the middle of "I can't handle this" before. Let me take you back. On April 1, 2011 my "person", my grandfather Grady Beck was called to his eternal home in Heaven. I thought I was going to literally lose my mind. It was tough to even get out of bed in the morning. It was impossible for months to go one hour without crying. I can tell you this, when I could barely breath God did not wipe my hurt away. God didn't necessarily want me to feel like I was drowning but I most certainly did feel like I was drowning and I wanted to die. I would wake up from dreams where I we had buried my grandfather to actual tears streaming down my face. I was so very very sad. 

Do you know what happened next? 

My daughter who was born on September 16, 2011 started missing milestones. At first, I was the only person who noticed. Before one year of age, she missed EVERY.SINGLE.MILESTONE. Tell me, I dare you that, God won't give you more than you can handle. My daughter was so delayed that our pediatrician prepared us for the possibility of a diagnosis of cerebral palsy. Let me tell you, I was missing my grandfather so much so at this point that I wanted to die then add to that that my daughter could not sit up, could not roll over, could not walk, could not stand, could not speak. Yeah, I was so over this life. 

Do you know what happened next? 

God in is infinite mercy did not wipe away my problems. My Papa did not come back to me. My daughter did not all of a sudden catch up. No, actually we almost lost Harper Elise. She had an allergic reaction to Penicillin so bad that our pediatrician said it was the worst reaction he had ever seen. It was life threatening. God did not appear out of a golden lamp with a rub and grant us our wishes of healing. And you know what, THIS WAS MORE THAN I COULD HANDLE. 

Where was God, you ask, in the midst of these storms? 

It's been two years and eight months since my Grandfather met Jesus face to face. It still hurts. It is the wrost pain I will ever experience. My daughter, through therapy, caught up. She does not have cerebal palsy. She has hypotonia and will have it for the rest of her life. She did not die of Stevens Johnson Syndrome. And where was God? He was there in my living room as I laid in the floor crying out to Abba Father. He was there in that nursery, where I sang Amazing Grace to Harper hoping this day was the day she would roll, speak, sit up, just do something.

When the pain would be too much, he would send me a rain storm. (My grandfather wanted to control the rain when he got to Heaven.) God's rain reminded me that even though he called Grady Beck home that my grandfather was still alive in my hopes, dreams, and heart. 

I prayed so much during this season of "I can't handle this". And I couldn't handle it but I had a Savior who loved me enough to die for me on that Cross and he loved me enough to carry me when I wanted to give up. 

I spent hours a day laying face first in my living room floor. Crying in the arms of God. Begging him for relief, for rest. I imagine that when my husband reads this, it will be the first time he heard how broken I truly was. 

God gave me more than I could handle in a very short period of time. He wanted me to learn to solely rely on Him. He gave me rest. There were days in my living room that I physically felt the presence of the Lord and his arms were around me. 

Life goes on. Today, I can go days without crying about the loss of my grandfather. My daughter's needs are few. But at the dawning of each new day, I know that when the raging storm slams into my life. I will believe that I have too much to handle. Then, I will cry out to God who will in his merciful ways reach down from Heaven and wipe my tears away. He will carry my burden if I ask him. 

If you have reached the point in your life where the burden is so heavy and you are so tired and this life has served you too much to handle. You will feel like you are at the end of the rope. Someone will say, "God won't give you more than you can handle." Remember, He will give you more than you can handle without Him. But his hand is there, his offer of salvation is a free gift to those who believe in Him, he will give you rest. 

He cares so much for me. When those darkest day would not end, He was ever present. Life will get hard. Press on. 

Romans 10:13 says to "Call upon the name of the Lord". When this life is hard: 
Pray. Pray. Pray.