Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Precious Memories!

Here in the small town I live in, it is consignment sale time! It's a time to clean out my children's wardrobe from last year and sell it! This time, I have A LOT of clothes! It's kind of crazy actually how much I have. There are 20 pairs of shoes! SHOES! But I found one piece of clothing that will be going into a ziploc bag and stored in the box of things I will keep forever.

Today, I was going through Harper's pajamas. I stumbled across this cotton gown. Who knew a simple night gown could stir such emotion. Instantly the memories flooded my mind. In my hands was the gown Harper was wearing when I learned she was possibly suffering from a life threatening allergic reaction. As I sat in Harper's room, I held this gown up to my face so I could smell it. It really probably smells like Gain laundry detergent but in my mind it smelled like a hospital. I sat there for a bit smelling this gown. Remembering. Remembering how far God brought her. I replayed the conversations that were had and the fear I felt in my heart.

Our pediatrician told us her allergic reaction was the worst he had ever seen. He repeatedly said "I'm sorry". He hugged me and rushed us to Children's Hospital. My daughter had Stevens Johnson Syndrome. If you aren't familiar with Stevens Johnson Syndrome it is life threatening. It can be and sometimes is fatal. The reality as we sat in that ER not knowing if Harper would survive is a moment I never want to forget. Harper was so sick for such a long period of time. Her tiny body would swell, develop hives, then bruise. Harper stayed bruised for weeks. We were not allowed to take her anywhere because of her condition. One she could get sick but more than that she looked beaten. Not being able to go in public because my daughter looked beaten was a very hard to accept. I would never harm my children. They are the greatest blessings I have ever been entrusted with. Yet as sick as she was for those few months, God healed her. Let that sink in. As I held that tiny gown this afternoon, I soaked in that truth. My God, who could have called her home, touched her body and healed her. Harper is proof of God's love to me. She is my constant reminder that the prayers of the faithful are heard and often answered.

As I held this cotton gown, I thanked God for the reminder of how faithful he has been to me. He did not have to grant us healing but he did. May I always give him a heart of gratitude for that. Precious memories. Precious healing. Precious savior.

This gown has found itself in a ziploc bag (so the smell will be preserved) and is tucked away for safe keeping. The next time I doubt God's love, presence, and ability to heal I will pull out the gown. I will smell it and remember. It may be consignment sale time but there is no amount of money that would even tempt me to sell this gown. I one day will give it to Harper as a reminder that even at one year old, God was holding her tightly in his grip.