Sunday, April 6, 2014

And the tears came....

This morning, our choir sang, "You Are I Am" by Mercy Me and I almost came unglued. Y'all, today was rough. There's no part of me that is ready for my baby boy to have surgery. Not at all. I am so scared. 



I've been the one to shake with fear
And wonder if You're even here
I've been the one to doubt Your love
I've told myself You're not enough

I've been the one to try and say
I'll overcome by my own shame
I've been the one to fall apart
And start to question who You are

You're the one who conquers giants
You're the one who calls out kings
You shut the mouths of lions
You tell the dead to breathe
You're the one who walks through fire
You take the orphan's hand
You are the one Messiah
You are I am
You are I am

I've been the one held down in chains
Beneath the weight of all my shame
I've been the one to believe
That where I am You cannot reach

You're the one who conquers giants
You're the one who calls out kings
You shut the mouths of lions
You tell the dead to breathe
You're the one who walks through fire
You take the orphan's hand
You are the one Messiah
You are I am
You are I am

The veil is torn
And now I live with the Spirit inside
The same one, the very same one
Who brought the Son back to life

Hallelujah, He lives in me
Hallelujah, He lives in me
Hallelujah, He lives in me
Hallelujah, He lives in me

You're the one who conquers giants
You're the one who calls out kings
You shut the mouths of lions
You tell the dead to breathe
You're the one who walks through fire
You take the orphan's hand
You are the one Messiah
You are I am
You are I am



These words "I've been the one to shake with fear and wonder if you're even here" GUILTY!  Nothing can challenge my faith like something going on with my children. But you know where that doubt comes from, where the fear comes from, where the wonder if God is even present- do you know where it comes from- SATAN. It's days like today that I have to step back. I have to remember that when Moses was left in the desert, he was not deserted. When Ryan was born with a cleft, he wasn't forgotten. I have to put on the armor of God:

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people."
Ephesians 6:10-18

I am doing spiritual warfare right now and I have got to remember to equip myself properly for battle. 

The chorus of "You are I Am" says everything I have struggled to say:

You're the one who conquers giants
You're the one who calls out kings
You shut the mouths of lions
You tell the dead to breathe
You're the one who walks through fire
You take the orphan's hand
You are the one Messiah
You are I am
You are I am

Even though I cry. Even though I'm unsure. Even though. I worship the one who conquers giants, calls out kings, shut the mouths of lion, and told the dead to breathe. If God was going to enable to David to slay the giant, He is also present with me. 

One day, I will stand face to face with my Savior. I will cry that the journey ordained was too much and he will wipe my tears away. In the meantime, I'm thankful for songs that allow me to worship God and say everything I can't put into to words. 

Watch the video. Enjoy. 


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