Thursday, June 19, 2014

It's not a Rescue...


There have been seasons of my life, where I was losing my grip. I had lost all hope. I could not see the forest for the trees or the trees because of the forest. Anyway, a problem would be so BIG and I would want to "fix" it, immediately. Any chance you are like that? 

We are having a problem. We are struggling financially. Let me preface this by saying, it does not escape my mind that in a season when we have said "yes" to the call to teach (at our church) that we would be facing some sort of issue or crisis. Satan loves to find my weakness and mess with my mind. And currently Satan is using our finances to shove a wedge in between Brian and I and in our check registry. Honestly, neither of us are careless with our finances. Neither of us is a shopper. I stay at home and that is a SACRIFICE. Our oldest had surgery and with that came added expenses. My husband accepted a new position in January believing the position would come with higher pay through commission and a greater opportunity for advancement. He is in the auto industry underwriting loans. Well, a bank doesn't pay commission until it is certain that the loan will not default. This process takes an ENTIRE year. So, folks, we are living on base salary and some days it just ain't enough. 

I know some of you are wondering why I don't just stop talking. You are thinking I "air" it all out there but if I can write out my reality then perhaps it will help someone. If my struggle shows one person to hold on then it is a moment worth sharing. 

Today, I was texting with my husband and he was expressing concerns about our finances. I hopped on my soap box and started sharing some things with Brian. Lately, I haven't seen Brian in the Word like I have in the past and I am feeling strongly that Brian and I both use God as a "rescue mission" when we should be having a relationship with Him. I am self disciplined about daily quiet time with the Lord but I know when that wall goes up and I don't want to let even Christ in. There are times with the words I read don't influence my heart. But y'all, in Isaiah 43:16 the Holy Bible says: 

"This is what the Lord says - he who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters, ..."

If God can make a path in the sea, He WILL make a path in our finances. My husband and I have to stop trying to solve the financial crisis ourselves and stop leading our lives by ourselves. God can change that registry but we have to change who currently leads our lives and where we place our trust. Satan knows our weakness and I know we are under attack. 

However, I also know how to fight when I am under attack. I know to put on the Armor of God.

It's time to stop playing the game. I have recognized the fear and the defeat. I'm telling Satan to get out of our hearts, our minds, and our checkbook. 

We are overcomers. Things may not work out in our favor but regardless, my hope is in the Lord. I will not store up wealth here on Earth and I pray that we are great stewards of what God does bless us with. 
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