Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Fear


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In this study Sacred Parenting, that I am doing at my church, we are covering fear. As I was reading this week, I could see myself so much in the lesson. Fear. Silly crippling fear. 

How many times does the Bible say, "do not be afraid?" There's a saying that "fear not" or "do not be afraid" appears 365 times in the Bible. I'm not sure if that is true or not because I haven't actually counted but even if God said it just once, it would be enough. DO NOT FEAR. When God said, “let there be light,” He only had to say it one time for it to happen. 



"We must become spiritually strong enough to watch our children hurt, so that they can develop and mature into faithful followers of Christ." Sacred Parenting, Participants Guide, p. 35

This quote made me think back to our Journey we were on this summer. I wanted to share a little story about fear. The weeks leading up to the first surgery can only be described as the worst weeks of our lives. We were full of fear. Yes, I was trusting the Lord. I was praying. I was seeking His face everyday but I was really letting the fear control my life. I worried about the level of pain, if Ryan would survive the surgery (I think anytime a child is put to sleep, if parents were honest, they would say that death crosses our minds.) I cried A LOT. My family cried. My sweet father cried every single time he saw Ryan. I could be found sitting in my closet sobbing. I was so very very very afraid. 

Do you know what happened as a result of the fear I was showing to the world? Everyone was fearful. But you know who I made most afraid, Ryan. Until the day of surgery, he would assure me, "Mom, don't be afraid." "God's got this."  But the day of surgery, Ryan's demeanor was off. He wasn't talking too much. Right before surgery, Ryan was given a medicine that normally makes him hilarious. This time, he started crying. He was so scared. My fear had manifested in Ryan and he was afraid. I realized that this entire time I had led him down my path of being scared. I felt so small. I felt like a failure as a Mother. Sure, I can excuse my behavior but the reality of the situation is I didn't trust God to be bigger than my fear or to be my comforter if the worst reality came true. 

Fast forward to June 11 the second surgery. I did a much better job between the surgeries seeking God's face. The scripture cards I had made for the first surgery were pulled out almost daily. I saved my tears for times that Ryan wasn't around. The day of surgery, Ryan asked me if I was scared. I said, "No because God's got this." Ryan's attitude was much better. As we waited for Ryan to be wheeled into surgery, he laughed the entire time. There were no quite times. Yes, I still cried when they took him into the operating room but it was different. 

Whatever you are facing in your life, God is in control. The Bible says, "do not fear" many many times. When the Bible was written, God knew we would need to hear "do not be afraid" over and over. Our kids are watching us and mimicking us. Do you want them to be fearful of circumstances or to trust in the Lord? I know what I want and I'm sure it is what you want too... Children who trust the Lord.
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